Punishments and mass beatings…

My primary and high school experience had one thing in common. The beatings. I am sure there is a ‘legally acceptable’ term for them but meh-… I used to think that teachers took the beatings more seriously than they did in ensuring we got good education. It used to be a running joke that they would take out their family frustrations on us. Some did not hold back.

I know we were not innocent and maybe we deserved it. Maybe we deserved to be punished. And by punish, I don’t mean a gentle knock on the head or a slight tap with a ruler. That was not public school style. See, some Kenyan public schools are worse than correctional centers when it comes to ensuring discipline.

Teachers loved to punish us especially when we failed their subjects. I constantly found myself drawing the short end of the straw when it came to mathematics. I hated math with a Passion. How the hell was it my fault if I couldn’t calculate the probability of a train traveling from Mombasa to Nairobi, after criss crossing the Indian ocean using the force of gravity?!….how. We would cry, bleed and bruise, all in the name of punishment. Do you realize how painful it is for a full grown man to take a cane to your ass because you arrived to school late…at 7 am in the cold, frosty as fuck morning?.

Sometimes, teachers took punishments too far, in my –not so innocent- opinion. We washed toilets, cleaned dormitories, swept entire compounds, knelt on pebbled ground until our knees were indented (I still have the scars) or got beaten. I can’t decide what was worse. They would use their hands,rulers, canes or my personal favorite, the Bunsen burner. That one hurt like a mothefucker.

‘Mass beatings’ were quite a common form of punishment. If you don’t know what it is, then God bless you. You have led a soft life. If you know what it is then, you are a survivor. Where are your battle scars, if I may ask? We would be herded off like cattle, to the proverbial slaughter.

I had a love-hate relationship with mass beatings. I hated them because teachers would descend on us like we were responsible for global warming. I hated them because when the teachers were done, we wouldn’t be able to sit for a week without flinching in pain. Our bodies would be on fire.

I also loved it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like pain –I think- . I loved mass beatings Simply because they were en masse. we went through them as a unit. That, in itself was way better than facing the wrath of a teacher on your own. If you were lucky, you would be amongst the last ones and the teacher would have used up most of their strength, so it wouldn’t hurt as much.

That was a total lie by the way. I swear they regenerated energy faster than you can shout Avengers assemble.

Anyway, the ‘fun‘ part about mass beatings was after you and gotten your share, cried and nursed your wounds, then sat back to watch the others getting handled. Before you accuse me of being a sadist, hear me out. Some people definitely made the beatings enjoyable. Slightly, at least. See, their were four types of people during a mass beating;

1: Those who would scream and call on to their parents, ancestors and anybody who would listen,

2: Those who would be stoic, not make a single noise and take the beating like a champ,

3: Those who would cry even before the beating had started,

4: Lastly, those who were courageous enough to try and wrestle the cane from the teacher.

PS: sadly, I was a certified resident of number 3.

‘Wash and wear’

I studied in an all girls catholic highschool. It was a total night mare. On my first week they stole everything and I was left with the cloths on my back. I took ‘wash and wear’ to a whole new level. Looking back, I seriously don’t know how I survived that first term.

All things considered my school was great….if not a little bit weird. There was a time students began to get possessed by demons. I’m talking screaming, pulling hair and rolling on the ground. The whole nine yards of it. The funniest thing about it, is the school blamed it on one girl. They said she had brought evil amongst us and yes, she was expelled.

School could get boring especially for us who love(d) to read books. Not school books, but books with plot, actual characters and a good cover. I would rather read the dictionary or the atlas, than open up my science textbook.

And guess what, that has worked out just fine for me. I have never come across a situation that required me to use the moles formula or the solvay process. So, yes, good riddance.

You can probably tell I sucked in sciences.

History was my favorite subject though. Reading about the world wars was enlightening. There’s nothing like a good dose of history to show you that the world has always been shit and will always be shit.

Anyway, said girl had managed to sneak in a novel. We were not allowed to carry reading materials that were not academic. Of course, as it stands, I’ve learned more from the numerous novels I devour than I ever did while reading my biology text book.

The book was about vampires. According to the school, the book was demonic. I mean, a book about blood sucking creatures can only be satanic and not fiction. The world we live in……. I wish I could mail them a copy of den of vipers. I wonder what they would have to say about that. I’m guessing an exorcism wouldn’t be to far off the mark here.

The worst, worst part of highschool was the fact that I never got my glow up. The fact that I’m still waiting for it to happen up until now is a severe case of mind fuck. No, seriously, who do I need to bribe for it actually happen. This situation is no longer funny.

PS: have you had your glow up yet, bestie?

I identify as beautiful.✍

My mom loves growing flowers. She is the most hardworking person I know but sadly, that gene seems to have pirouetted over me. That, and the pretty gene. However, I identify as beautiful….so I’m good.

Before i went to highschool I didn’t really know much about ‘the world’. See, I’ve grown up in this small obscure village where nothing really ever happens. We have about two shops, a hotel, one old peoples bar, two butcheries and a few vibanda’s.

Vibanda’s are like the poor cousins of grocery stores.

Things like traffic, congestion, Malls, parks, KFC etc are things I only saw on TV. Anyway, on my first day of highschool, one of the girls asked me what my name was, and I said Nthenya. That’s what everyone at home and at my previous school used to call me. I went to a local primary school and everyone used their native names.

After a few moments of her awkwardly trying to pronounce my name –which isn’t even that hard btw –I told her my English name. Since that day, when asked I’d always say, “my name is esther”.

Then they asked what everyone’s favorite pizza was?. I had never tasted pizza in my life. So of course I lied and said chicken flavor. I’d seen that in a movie before. I was trying to preserve any chances I might have had at a social life.

You know whats scarier than a high school?…..A catholic, all girls boarding high school.

I hated every second of it. I never had my high school glow up and even though I’m in college now, I still haven’t had my grown-ish experience.

In the end, I realize that television shows ain’t shit.

PS: I love school but I hate school.